Something to Lose

I used to be called fearless for the risks I would take without hesitation.  Huge leaps of faith across country lines and cultural divides.  

Deep into jungles and high upon mountains.  Far out in the ocean swimming with dolphins: never pausing to think of the sharks nearby.

No concern with dying, for I had nothing to lose.  

Some called it courage, but I knew better.  For one cannot be brave with no fear to face. 

But life would soon teach me another way: what it means to risk what I gained from all my excavations in foreign nations, and contemplations in other realms. 

I spent so long hopping continents like lily-pads, I didn’t notice the lotus growing in my heart.  

The strangest things happen in the marsh of one's soul when we mange to surrender control.

And life pried it out of my clutching hands when I was questing for the lands of my kin, trying to find the place I could be safe within to rest and call home.

She ripped the ropes from my fingers so I would learn to let go.  And when I climbed, she brought landslides on mount­ainsides, so I would fall or learn to fly.

And fall I did, again and again, to the earth, making peace with dirt and decay in my face until I found the grace in death and legacies left in its wake.

For in the end, the wealth is love and the relationships we grow.  

And I have come to know the meaning of life in your eyes that hold the sky and sea, and the key to my essence.  It is you, Love.  And now I know fear for the first time.  

For I can no longer phathom walking through life alone, or leaving you on your own in this place while I am floating through space trying to find the light again.

You shine so bright I’d probably land right back in your hands.  And what would you do with a lost lumen in search of the numen?  

Would you make a wish and blow me into the wind?  Or would you place me in your heart to make a home there again?  

I could live with that because it was home all along.  For I’ve had you to lose from the dawn of space and time.

So if I have to go now, because the Divine beckons me home, when the doctors put me under all I remember to try and make me whole…

If it's my time to pass into the light, please know I need you to shine so I can find the glow in your soul.

And I will return home to you, to light your way the rest of your days, and help you find love once more, for all you have given me.

For the great lesson of being free is to know what it means to truly live: to claim life and have the will to engage.  

To be loved and love fully is the purpose for which we were made.

So I will see you through whatever comes, what ever form I take next, for I have been blessed to fulfill my purpose in your love.

Copyright © Sheyorah Naify, 2021
Art: On Beat, by Jen Shearer.

Author’s Note: I have been married for two weeks now and my life is changing every day. I wrote this a few days ago, swimming in the sea of change resulting from this sacred union. This is certainly a change of theme and pace for me. We are facing serious challenges together now and future content may, at times, reflect this journey.

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